monday was my ex's birthday. he sounded good on the phone which is good. its been three years, you'd think that would be enough to come around. right?
i have times when i get mad about everything, and feel unfairness intensely. ive been having that lately, i think mostly because ive been really super tired, and then everything just looks like shit. but also, apart from tiredness, i have a serious allergy to unfairness; i always have. its why i could never be in cliques: the whole purpose was to exclude. i could never handle racism or other group-weirdness like that. and individual persecutions, the little private pretty stuff you see between people, man o man, i no can handle any of it. and generally i move along without spending too much time on what is obviously unfair in my direction, first of all, cause whatcha gonna do? there's assholes in every language and culture there ever was, its not even really very interesting, but i cant help being pissed off about what is possible without it.
so never fucking mind. im in a bad mood and thats that. meanwhile ive been playing some outrageously loud liz phair on borrowed ipod-'phones, while biking to get my lungs back. monstrously loud, predictable pop, which helps.
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