and finally,

"i heard somebody say
today is the day
a big ole hurricane
she's headed our way
knocking over the buildings
open your eyes boy
we made it through the night
 i think we are safe....
.. and i raised my voice to the air
and we were blessed.
it's hard to give,
it's hard to get,
but everybody needs
a little forgiveness"
          ---patty griffin


so, there was: chopped basil, shoyu, scallions chopped, sesame oil, rosemary, diced portobello and whole wild french mushrooms, all soaked together, and then sauteed and the egg added and the slices of fresh mozzarella to melt into, and the sun dried tomatoes on top, all on top of a tortilla. new year's eve.

the fireworks are going off in every direction: green, blue, red, white. the kids across the street have been setting their own off for days, excited and restless.

and tomorrow is tuesday.

ps: ok, it was a silly opus

my favorite movie of all time (today) is big bad love. yup. it's depressing as hell, written and directed by arliss howard and stars his wife, a chick named debra winger, who is a badass lady if there ever was one.

it's a tom waits-heavy epic about a man's relentless pursuit of the thing that eludes him; what it is, you'll have to watch the movie and tell me. i haven't seen it in a long time, but it's a really, very, excellent idea, that movie.

i should have said happy new year already, being that it nearly is. so, happy new year.

opus

my sister sent us red roses this week and they sit on the kitchen table, opening. there are tall stalks of white somethingorother, the stalk-y kind of flower ive forgotten the name of, but they perfectly offset the color and the quiet exuberance of roses. it's a great pairing.





on christmas day, we made christmas quesadillas for breakfast on yellow corn tortillas: chilis, gruyere and parmesan, scallions and rosemary, cooked in with little scraps of bacon. it's not all that important, but we enjoyed it, and washed it all down with fresh-juice mimosas.





for lunch, or "christmas dinner" i pulled out the tuna and we had seared tuna tartare with just a hint of wasabi and ginger and a mean butter lettuce salad. the bread board and cheeses rounded it out...why am i telling you about our food? food is good. i like food. it's one of the few objective things i can talk about without launching headfirst into some diatribe, im trying to get us there gently! ;) (uhoh, you say?)





more objective news: there are a pile of rome apples in the kitchen still that we havent gotten used up. today they will become a compote or a crumble, depending on who wins. im betting on the compote. would it be terrible to throw some basil in? i know mint would be better, but basil might just knock us into the new so completely that we like it.







in the neighborhood yesterday, i could swear i heard the bleating of lambs. im not crazy, and im not living in farm country so its worth mentioning. serious! urban sheep, man! or something resembling their sound. i will not even discuss the rooster, which i am now certain is my karma to always be in the vicinity of--just cant escape the fuckers. (pardon me if youre a rooster)







this morning my daughter woke up and asked for coffee, which wasnt very hot anymore cause it was late, and said"mom, i hate to burst your bubble, but you're not dying." (we had a funny night and woke up in the middle of it. the moon was still strong and interruptive and had me saying things you say at night, even to the wrong person.) sounds funny now but she may be right.







the thing about cataloging a year, and looking into the next one is, i remember every detail about where i was, how it felt, all the full-frame life events that came to bear on it.





over the holiday, juliet has read flaubert and wharton, just hangin out. i took a shower. and changed the bulbs. and hung a mirror. and took the trash out and got the mail. and swept, of course. i cant seem to read right now. or write.

writer's strike

yeah yeah. i go on those all the time. the damn wga nor the dga has/have sent me a royalty in ages. ;) aint it funny how nervous conan gets, tho/ ;) apparently-- so ive heard. all my pop culture is apparent, i dont interface all that much. ok. except, im insane on winehouse, amy. esp back to black, that's a fact. my friend amber made me up a mix tape of her stuff and been listening. cant tell you how tired i am of not having the proper backing band.... we could write shit in action in rehearsal, for god's sake.

anyway, that's not it. im reading, actually. was recommended to read a book by a network chiropractor i recently met, getting off the table, i saw this really pretty cover. it had food and flowers and prayer beads on it, caro mio. oh yEAHH. so i checked out the title while she was looking at her calendar for our next appt and asked her about it.

keith over at the northern trattoria located in the belly of whole foods on 5th & lamar made us up a plate to share of risotto and smoked mushrooms with a little black truffle oil.

and there you have the reason this book caught my eye: not only because ive been looking for another love (book) but it involved all three of my favorite things: love, food and spiritual journeying. as in, travel, both outer and inner. badASS. yes. so im happy again, and ive only just started it.

im a freak for travel memoir as a genre, esp when it involves great humor and sex and food. wow. theroux, fallaci, nin, wharton, kincaid, crichton, bowles, mayes, bryson, goldberg, pirsig, dinesen, attenborough and that irish lady who writes about travelling around on her bicycle. (think im missin my library.) and really, this whole book is about her conversation with god. yeah, me likey. i may even not have to write about my divorce, she's got it so covered here:

"we were weary in that way that only couples whose marriage is collapsing can be weary. we had the eyes of refugees."

anyway, been taking out the gibson for some musical journeying a bit more. it needed it, it was angry, if a guitar can be. and it doesnt like the cold, so its been angry AND cold, two very bad things to leave a guitar in for long alone, much like a woman.

plus and ps, book people had good n plenty. so the world has not yet officially ended.

family style

all the folks from d/fw and beyond... love and happy holidays and everything ;)















and here's will's holidaze greetings from his studio:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuLM9eLLDfs

...and one from a long time ago, fdr, great-uncle jimmy allred and lbj hangin and smilin... i just found this on someone else's myspace page, man you have to go far to come across a family photo these days.

everybody in the place get wil'

"lord have mercy...
i know that you like my style
i know that you like my style
gonna drop it on your a** right now
everybody in the place get wild
[so what you sayin']
what's up, what's up with you girl
what's up, what's up with you girl
what's up, what's up with you boy
what's up, what's up with you boy"

       justin timberlake, my style



o yea. ba-da-ba-da-ba-da...

unstrung

talked to aaron tonight. its as cold here as it is in nyc. thats just mean.

he went to see a movie tonight, about pat martino's life. aside from being arguably one of the best living jazz guitarists, what a story! what a life.



here he hammers it with john scofield:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2RRUVAD9Mc



amazing, to live. and esp, survive.

in a nutshell

the benefit over at ruta maya was packed, the gourds were total mayhem. bad. ass.

and here, molly ivins nails down, a long time ago in a column (her first as co-editor, i totally just ripped off the observer website) my sentimentals exactly (altho she neglects to reference the terrible machismo, but implies it anyway, and that: there is no mercy at all in texas): go here:

http://www.texasobserver.org/molly_archive/hello.html

goin home

such as it is. at randall's in westlake this am there was a massive cuppa very bold coffee and super good stories about life and music. you do what you can.



and so it goes... thinking i should just BE coffee, easier that way. could cut back on my drinkin.



went for a walk today in the warmth, in a rash of birds. what is going on? this place is overrun with birds. there was a guy directing traffic in orange, and some chicks talking tough on the corner, and more or less, it was all good.

and soon, other things.

so

i miss my dog and that's it: he's been advising me to move on. knowwhatimean? so. im gonna have to. shep doesnt do halfway:


how long have i been dead?

um. almost a year, shep.

ok then. you see what i mean.

no. what?

its been almost a year jenn.

right.

and, so..

so?

so its time. to move on. and stop being an idiot.

y'now, shep, you never did much understand about being human.

o yeah i did, i watched very carefully, and i dont even have to, im a dog, remember, we just get these things.

what things?

oh, how you guys hold on to shit and make it last all out and drag it along like something nasty on your shoe. you just gum up the works totally, and slow things down, and take too long.

whatever.

now. i know youre ready, i can feel it.

shut up, shep.

im serious. better go buy new food. and a collar. and this time, --

dont say it.

ok, but do it. and DONT wait.

shep! shut UP! change the subject.

omg, i can totally tell youre excited. that's nice, jenn. that's nice.

hows about them...uh, lakers, huh?

uh-hunh.


cant a body get any peace? ;) anyway, super nice sunset tonight.

bread and roses

there's a cloudsky today. i like a good cloudsky. easier to be inward if you need to be.

driving back from houston it was raining. there were stretches of no cars on the highway, just landscape and some cows and a good-lookin barn or two. those stretches are what i go lookin for, when its just you and the landscape and between the two you get some problem-solving in.

like, when will i feel like im there? how will art ever survive in the morass of ignorance in commerce? did they discontinue good n plenty candy or what? and, why? it's so good. among the million other more private and serious landscape-worthy agendas, all fueled by that beautiful global conglomerate coffee, in a short cup with an extra shot.

here's december which is fine but i am not up to stomaching the usual drone of overplayed carols and whatnot. on thanksgiving i fasted-- it was my antidote and i was quiet to listen for a real feeling of thanksgiving, which came after i'd gone to bed and in the dark the feeling came, and i felt peaceful for the first time in a long one.

ive been reading books that have been given to me or left on my bookshelf by visitors. the witch of portobello by paolo coelho, firebrand by marion zimmer bradley. a rash of novels which i never read but it's been good. ive had to spend time in bed so it's helped.

there's gecko which has turned into a monster living at my front door. he hangs out on the wall whenever i go out and slips back behind the jam if he gets nervous. i didnt know they could get so big.